Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Year in Review - Journal Entries - Part 2

..more gleanings from the journal...sort of like mini-blogs I never got around to posting..

August 4/05
Cool and rainy this morning. Scripture verse from this morning's reading: "my grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness". Problems don't go away but God gives us the grace to deal with any situation. I feel I need this verse to help me sort out the direction I want to go in my spiritual journey and to give me strength to stay the course.

August 15/05
Had a weird dream last night about an empty house that no one wanted to go in because there was a cougar in it. I walked in and picked up the cougar and was holding it in my arms. I knew it wasn't wild and had actually been raised in captivity.

August 27/05
I'm sitting in Gargoyle's restaurant at the moment having just completed the first workshop of the writers conference - the journaling workshop. It was great. Surprisingly, I enjoyed the writing exercises and the experience of reading some of my writing aloud. It was easier to do then I thought and very freeing.

September 4/05
I often find myself fighting jealousy when I see someone else published or saying they write. I think sometimes that comes from a lack of self-confidence. I feel my writing is inferior or I'm never going to write anything good. I'm finding I work best through my envy by becoming more supportive of a fellow writer - buy their book, encourage and promote, share info. I'm realizing we all have our own stories, talents and gifts and we need to encourage each other, especially in a small town.

October 10/05
A beautiful Monday morning - sunny, clear blue skies, cool, but the perfect fall day. I'm just having my second cup of tea before starting my routine and tidying things up before the boys get home.

October 23/05
In the videotaped sermon at church today, the Episcopal Bishop whose name I can't remember said that we come to church to give ourselves as an offering at the altar and this pleases God. We don't come to church for what we get out of it but to have relationship with God and offer ourselves to Him. And God, who has everything He needs, is pleased by this.

November 13/05
It's dark, wet, windy and rainy this morning. John and the boys are in Stratton this weekend and supposed to be coming home today. There is a winter storm warning out, and the rain here is supposed to turn to snow, so I am filled with worry today as I pray they will arrive safely home. I barely slept last night, listening to the wind and rain. Charlie has called me each night.

November 24/05
An extremely windy, blustery crappy day today. TJ's bus was stuck behind transports that were lined up on the highway because of the closure. Charlie's had a cold all week and we've been getting up every night to steam. I'm so exhausted.

November 27/05
Friday afternoon I left work early and went to the church and did my Altar Guild. I like when I'm alone in the church and I always hope when I'm there that no one will come in so I can just have the time alone. I usually go there a little harassed and resentful, but I always leave feeling peaceful. It's like I work out all my anxieties in the polishing of the brass.

December 02/05
What a week. I've had a wicked cold. Tuesday afternoon I was sneezing so much I didn't know if I would make it through the "Author" night. Fortunately the sneezing held off during that time. I was so nervous and just feeling so inferior but I think it went well. In the van on the way there I told Charlie how nervous I was and hoped that not too many would be there, and he said "I'm there Mom" and he leaned over, patted my arm and said "and you know, Jesus will be there".

Dec 21/05
In light of everything, 2006 does not look promising and yet I feel God is asking me, "do you trust me?" Woke up the other night with this phrase going over and over in my head - "Mary said Yes, would you?" Truth is, I doubt I would have, I doubt my faith is that strong and I know that God is convicting me of that. Thankfully he is also a God of grace who will allow me to grow in that faith, to develop that strength should I choose that path. * o

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