Advent

From Random

(one frosty November morning)

I haven't been blogging much. In fact, I haven't been creative at all much of late. Bit of a slump, or down cycle. It's partly, I think, part of the grieving process. This past July my father died, and I have been sitting with this for awhile. Although I am an avid fan of journaling, art journaling and collage and all sorts of "creative' stuff, for some reason this is not how I've processed my grief. Instead, in the summer I sat a lot in my gazebo and rested and daydreamed. In the fall, I walked a lot, listening to music on the iPod.

And now the days are shorter, darkness comes quickly and the weather has slowly turned winter like. No sitting outside, no long evening walks. I have been busy - busy at work, busy with my spiritual direction course. The spiritual side of my life has been fed with music, and reading and the beginnings and excitement of actually doing spiritual direction work with some wonderful people - while the creative side of my life lies dormant, waiting.

In the liturgical year it is Advent. A time of preparation, waiting, expectation. I sit, pregnant with the possibilities that the birth of a new year can bring. There will be creative times again, there will be new projects, new dreams, and new hopes. And there will be new losses, changes and struggles. And while we wait with hope and joy, there is also sadness and missing those who won't be at the Christmas table this year. Both sides of the coin, the yin and the yang.

Seasons and cycles, the turning of the wheel. I sit in the dusky evening quiet and wait for the light to return again. Advent. * o

Advent