Discernment

Today marks the beginning of a year long period of discernment for me. A time to pray, listen and try to decide if I am called to be an Associate of the Sisters of St. John the Divine.

It'll be a time for me to develop and follow a Rule of Life, and to deepen my prayer life.

A year can seem like a long time but I am glad that it is a year. Too often I make impulsive decisions, or I think I want to do something that turns out later to not be so great. We all do.

Discernment gives me an opportunity to slow down, to not rush in and to really try and listen for God's voice. My greatest struggle will be the daily commitment to prayer and to making time for it. In a year, I will know whether or not I am capable of that type of commitment. I will also, hopefully, have learned the value in slowing down and not making hasty decisions.

When have there been periods of discernment in your life? What was the jewel or lesson you learned from that time of discernment?

(image - my window altar at Stonesthrow) * o

Discernment

Dreaming of Beeswax

I've got the creative itch to do a collage in beeswax - a technique I haven't tried yet. I've got the idea, know what I want to put on it and am antsy to try it. So what's stopping me? Lack of beeswax. See, in my small town you can't just run to the local craft store and buy whatever. Now there are plenty of people here who will tell you to "mind your own beeswax" and several more who can't resist the urge to stick their nose in to your beeswax, but actual, authentic beeswax is not to be found. And so I will have to hold off until I can make the next trip to the Big City to stock up on supplies..(sigh). Until then, I'm dreaming of beeswax. * o

Dreaming of Beeswax

Spirituality vs Religion

One of the questions in my course this week was "Is spirituality different from religion and if so how?"

My answer is yes. To me religion is more like a practice, or set of practices. It has specific rules, rituals and it's own hierarchy. Spirituality on the other hand is more of a relationship.

To put it another way, spirituality is like breathing. Religion might define how, when and where I breathe but it is spirituality that is the breath.

How do you define spirituality and religion? Are they one and the same for you?

(image - my first Zentangle - created Sep 19/07) * o

Spirituality vs Religion

Frost and Pumpkin Barf

Saturday morning we were hit with the first heavy frost of fall. A frost that finished off the marigolds in front of the cottage, and the Himalayan Impatiens in the yard. Hubby spent the afternoon pulling them up and tidying the yard. The first of the preparations for winter. Already. Sigh, I'm so not ready for it.

The painting project continued into this weekend. Teenage Boy wanted his room painted orange, and orange he got. It looks like a pumpkin threw up in there but he says he likes it. He better - I'm not painting it again for a long time. I have bedroom number two to paint next, but that will have to wait a couple of weekends. I need a break.

Creatively I've become hooked on doodling, specifically the Zentangle type of doodling. I've fallen in love with my Uniball fine black pen and I use it to scratch doodles over all my journal pages. Even my calendar at work. I'm insane.

My course on Spirituality and Family relationships starts this week. I'm looking forward to a morning routine of reading and journaling as I work my way through it.

Autumn is always so full, and I said I was going to release something didn't I?

* o

Frost and Pumpkin Barf

Autumn's Release

I just received my copy today of "Praying with the Elements" a beautiful little book created by Christine Valters Paintner, at Abbey of the Arts. It's full of scripture, snippets of poetry, thoughtful reflections and stunning photos and I highly recommend it.

While flipping through it at lunch time I was caught by this quote:

"This earth we are riding keeps trying to tell us something with it's continuous scripture of leaves." - William Stafford

Maybe it's because it is the fall season that this quote stood out for me. Christine writes, "I love the image of the scripture of leaves that Stafford offers - what if we were to consider the changing trees as sacred text where the Holy One is revealed to us in new ways each season? What if we followed the invitation of each season - spring's emerging, summer's fullness, autumn's release, and winter's rest?"

What indeed. Kind of makes you pause a moment and really look at the landscape as you are rushing out the door in the afternoon. And "autumn's release" - what am I releasing? I always seem to take on so much more in the fall, and I know it drains my energy until I long for winter's rest.

This weekend I'll be spending time reflecting on creating a Rule of Life, and I know I'll be looking at what I need to release this autumn. And I hope the cold, wet weather we'v been experiencing lately subsides for awhile so I can get outside and read the scripture of leaves.

Photo: Night Sky - Sault. Ste Marie, Michigan - taken by Charlie Maedel * o

Autumn's Release

Farewell Purple Octopus

With his brother happily off to college, Teenage Boy/Man has decided he wants to move into his old room, since it is just slightly larger than the one he occupies now. TBM has also decided he wants his room painted in "Lush Orange" with "Mango Tango" trim.

This has meant a weekend for me spent putting on a couple of coats of primer and preparing the room. Years ago when College Boy was much younger, in a burst of creativity I painted his room with an Under-the-Sea theme that included a giant purple octopus. Thought it was a great idea at the time, but obviously I was not thinking too far into the future to the time when I would have to somehow paint over and get rid of that octopus.

In all fairness to him, College Boy outgrew that purple octopus years ago, but I have not had the time or opportunity to paint that room until he moved out of it.

And so, after three coats of tinted primer we bid farewell to Mr. Purple Octopus, and all things "little boy like" and we get ready to say hello to Mango Tango and the last of the teen years. * o

Farewell Purple Octopus

Taking the Boy to College

His stuff is all packed, though his room still looks like a cyclone hit it. This morning we are piling it all into the truck and heading down to another city where he'll start college next week. Road trip! College tour! A busy weekend.

Hard to believe we're at this stage. Boy/Man has grown so fast. And Teenage Boy starts high school next week. This morning I am the beaming, proud mom. Proud of how they have grown, awed by the young adults they are turning into, and a little in shock at how quickly time has flown.

Time for breakfast, and then we'll load up and head off. He's heading out for new adventures! * o

Taking the Boy to College

How Then Shall I Pray

"Prayer too moves in rhythms, ups and downs." Inviting the Mystic, Supporting the Prophet (Dyckman/Carroll)

I've been thinking about prayer a lot lately. How do I pray, what are the ways to pray, and even why pray are just some of the things floating through my mind. I know there is no right or wrong way to pray, and that prayer is as unique as each person's relationship to God. Prayer deepens that relationship. Do I spend enough time in prayer? I guess that depends on the definition of prayer. If prayer is solely being down on your knees, hands folded, eyes closed and having a sort of one-way conversation with the Divine, then no, I don't spend a lot of time in prayer.

How then are the ways in which I pray?

• in church - both in corporate, liturgical prayer and private prayer
• intercession - quick prayers ushered up for someones safety, health or comfort
• gratitude - a few moments in thanks for safe journeys, health restored or the beauty of the day
• creative - by what I create, how I express my relationship to God in art, sometimes in a more abstract form like a collage and other times in something more concrete like this prayer wheel
• journaling - writing prayers, writing out problems, working through my spiritual crisis in writing
• the Jesus prayer - often repeated at night, in bed, to calm a rattling mind and invite God's comforting presence
• meditation

Even after writing that list I feel a desire to deepen my prayer life, to move beyond the routine and yet how?

"The continued realization that prayer is gift, something God does in us, not something we do ourselves, frees us to relax, take the pressure off ourselves and wait, allowing God to come as he wills." Inviting the Mystic, Supporting the Prophet

Ya, that's it. Invite God's presence into every thing I do, not just five minutes of "prayer time". * o

How Then Shall I Pray

Journal Prompt Cards

Life in the cottage has been awesomely creative, so I thought I'd share some of the journal prompt cards I've been working on.

I'm altering a deck of playing cards, painting them, gluing on images and writing the prompts over top.

Images and prompts all inspired by Zura's e-class on creating journal cards.

Could someone contact the time fairy and slow things down a bit? Summer is going by way too fast for me... * o

Journal Prompt Cards

The 5.75 Questions

Michael Bungay Stanier has a great new video, "The 5.75 Questions You've Been Avoiding". Not only are the questions thought provoking, the clip is cartoony, funky and fun to watch. Michael is also offering a free e-course on the 5 questions, so check it out and sign up! * o

The 5.75 Questions

Soul Collage - Past Hurts

I am the one who stands in the doorway of past hurts.
I am the one who looks back in regret.
I am the one who wants to move forward and let go.

When I look at this card I am reminded of all the times I try to let go, but I don't and I let it stand in the doorway blocking my way to moving forward.

* o

Soul Collage - Past Hurts

The Shed has its own blog!

Having recently joined the staff at Artella, I've also got a new blog there which I've entitled "Stonesthrow Cottage - Musing and ramblings from my backyard" so I will be posting there from time to time. * o

The Shed has its own blog!

A Room of Her Own

For a long time now I have dreamed of a space of my own - a place to write, read, create, dream. A space where I could spread out, and not have to pack everything up that I was working on. I've tried to create this in my house, but there were really no extra rooms and the basement just didn't have the right atmosphere. I began to dream of a little shed, a garden retreat, in my own backyard. And while I allowed myself to fantasize about this place and decorate it in my mind, even going so far as to give it a name, I never gave much thought to it becoming a reality. An outbuilding seemed too expensive to buy or build. It was just a little dream.

Last month, at an auction, my husband purchased a small 8 x 9 shed and had it moved into our backyard. He's painted it, built a deck for it and put on a screen door. "Stonesthrow Cottage", my dream, has become a reality. I have space to create, to unwind, to dream or to play. And it really is the perfect space.

In the process of looking up ideas for this building, I discovered a whole world out there of people who work from little backyard sheds or shacks, appropriately named "shedworkers". They even have their own blog.

Should you be stopping by on a summer evening, you'll find me at Stonesthrow - the perfect place to have a cup of tea, a long chat, and to sit and dream. * o

A Room of Her Own

Ordinary Holiness

"the ordinary events of daily life become our practice...the routine of daily life is the path to holiness for lay folks"

-Father Thomas Keating - Open Mind, Open Heart

So often we search for holiness outside of ourselves - in some sacred place, in ritual, in worship, in a person or in a denomination. Can it really be so basic that the path to holiness is the repeated routine of my every day life - the waking, stretching, journaling, reading, eating, working, gardening, emailing, blogging, idling, sleeping routine of every single day? If so, then every day, every breath, every movement is sacred.

(photo: Therese rose, Charlie Maedel - June 2007)

* o

Ordinary Holiness

On turning 43

Art journal collage entry I created today in honor of my birthday.

Art inspired by Violette.

Words (which are hard to see in the image because the scan did not turn out so well...) inspired by this quote from Rainer Maria Rilke:

"You are indeed carrying within yourself the potential to visualize, to design, and to create an utterly satisfying, joyful and pure lifestyle."

(the page looks a lot brighter than it turned out in the scan) * o

On turning 43

Journal Prompts

When you are stuck in your journaling, or just in a rut, journal prompts are an effective tool to get you "over the hump".

Zura Ledbetter has designed a 12 week e-course that teaches you how to create your own set of journaling prompt cards using techniques such as collage, drawing and painting. The course includes writing prompts, how-to's, images to use and a yahoo group to share with.

So instead of dishing out money for a book of writing prompts, or buying a deck of journal cards, tap into your own creative energy and wisdom and make your personalized deck of prompts this summer.

Course starts July 1 and details can be found here. * o

Journal Prompts

Lunas continued

Art Journal entry after discovering the luna moth on my walk.

"She dances in beautiful green shimmers, as mysterious as the moon, on silken wings." * o

Lunas continued

La Luna

It's been one of those weird kind of days - not really strange, but slightly odd or off. Lots of electrical storms, heavy rains, power surges, and computers doing strange things.

On our walk this afternoon, we spied a Luna moth on the side of the road. I think he may have been near the end of his week of life, or injured because he was just lying on the road, letting the wind push him along. Such brilliant green wings I have never seen.

It was such a small gift of beauty in an otherwise odd day.




* o

La Luna

True Rest

I opened my little book on Centering Prayer, from the Contemplative Outreach program, to these words this evening:

Resting in God comes from the Sabbath. Sabbath is time consecrated with our attention, our surrender, honoring those quiet forces of grace and spirit that sustain and heal us.

I don't often take time for Sabbath, at least not true Sabbath. Weekends come with their own chores and demands, and although the pace is different than during the week, and there's usually a Sunday morning church service involved, I don't know if I can honestly say its time "honoring those quiet forces of grace and spirit". It's still just busy time.

On her blog, and in a recent tele-call, Jennifer Louden asked "What is true rest for you?" Excellent question because I believe most of us, especially women, don't really know what true rest looks and feels like and I believe that's a great source of stress for us.

So I've been spending some time contemplating this weekend on what true rest feels like for me. Here's some of what I think it is:

• sinking down into the mat in corpse pose after spending an hour stretching my body, and feeling how delicious it is to lay there completely relaxed
• eating when I feel hungry and not having to cook for anyone
• a really hot bath, followed by pampering myself with a favorite body lotion
• listening to music with my eyes closed and letting my mind wander

I think once you get going on this, you can really tune in, be creative and start listening to just what it is your body is asking for.

For true, true rest - I'm currently studying my cat. Cats have got true rest down to a fine art. Find a piece of sunshine, plunk yourself in it, stretch and have a nap. What more could there be?

What is true rest for you? * o

True Rest

Sacred Space Continued

"The garden heals. We hear these words and recognize they are true. Those of us who garden see what we do as creating a sanctuary from the forces of darkness, within and without. A haven of serenity, a respite from the noisy civilization around us."

Marjorie Harris, The Healing Garden

The sun shone this afternoon and butterflies danced around the yard. Lots of them too. It was a good afternoon to paint this old bench and transform this wall by the garage into a patch of sacred space. The bench is a good place to sit in the evenings, with a cup of tea, and to close ones eyes and listen to bubbling fountain. The cedar shrubs offer a bit of seclusion without completing blocking the view of the rest of the yard.


Fortunately, I got the painting done before the black clouds covered the sky and the heavens opened up to a cool, refreshing shower. Fifteen minutes and the sun was out again.

* o

Sacred Space Continued