Silence

Come,
pray with open hands,
emptied and willing to receive.
Uncurl and unclench fists - let
go of all you are clinging to,
hang on to nothing.

You have nothing to offer
and everything to receive.
Be willing to be empty and choice less.

You have made it to here - you do
not need to worry about anywhere else.

I wrote the above at a silent retreat yesterday, in response to the question "What does God want me to let go of?". The day of silence was so very welcoming and refreshing to me. I have been exhausted by words and talking lately, and was definitely ready to enter a room and not have to make small talk. All that was required of me was that I sit and listen.

While eating lunch in silence with about 40 or so others, I thought silence is such a great equalizer. Without listening to anyone speak, I made no judgments or impressions about anyone else in the room. I wasn't basing my likes or dislikes on something someone was saying. Everyone was the same without words. Silence is very communal.

The other great joy of my day yesterday was the opportunity to meet with Sister Elizabeth (SSJD), my Associate Director. We only had about twenty minutes to chat, but it was an opportunity to connect, and for me to get some wonderful advice and affirmation. God is good. * o

Silence

Interesting

You’re St. Melito of Sardis! You have a great love of history and liturgy. You’re attached to the traditions of the ancients, yet you recognize that the old world — great as it was — is passing away. You are loyal to the customs of your family, though you do not hesitate to call family members to account for their sins. Find out which Church Father you are at The Way of the Fathers!

I get the love of history and liturgy. Not too sure about the "accounting family members for their sins" thing.......

* o

Interesting

Candlemas Blessings

Garden of Renewal
May you enter your soul garden today
and find that winter's cold is not quite as cold.
Maybe we don't feel it yet, as old ideas do linger.
But Spring has called her maidens,
I can hear them chanting today. Listen...
Her paper white narcissus are blooming
right next to the red poinsetta.
And the flowers are sending out their messages:
forgive...try again...move forward...life comes...
death comes...find new life...joy is dawning.
Turn the garden beds of your mind.
With a bright pitchfork. The pile may be deep.
It may be hard ground. It may be murky.
Surely it is compost for the new flowers.
Do with it what we must do with compost.
Use it to nurture new life.
Don't leave it in a pile in the corner
where no one wants to go.
If you look, you will see that nasturtiums are
growing amongst the dank.
They sing...
You can grow anywhere you are planted.
The robins, who live by the hundreds in your garden
red breasted and full of spark
are singing songs of renewal. Of letting go.
Of holding onto only what is needed.
Things have happened that make us sad,
uncomfortable, doubting and in anger too.
Pick up a few stones, and for each one say a prayer
for the hard things you have witnessed.
And place them at the gardens edge - organized - so
they do not take up too much space.
Turn that earth over and over. Smell the fresh soil.
Then get your seeds ready.
Begin planting and saying new prayers. Intentions.
Hopes. Dreams. Visions. Creations.
See the flowers bloom in your mind.
Tiny worms travel in twos like veins beneath the earth skin.
Making space for your seeds and sprouts.
Creating a great exhale for your garden,
she welcomes your new thought seeds
and the wild seeds all over the garden of the soul.
Even though our challenges will persist
(they always do)
We can choose day by day bliss and beauty.
We have to in order to survive. So choose.
It has been a long day in the garden,
and it is time to go into the kitchen now.
Turn on the tea kettle and light three candles.
One for yesterday and one for today and one for tomorrow.
Write in your journal.
Weave your shawl.
Make a pot of medicine soup.
Pick up your guitar.
This is the time of renewal.
And it belongs to you.
Amen
Shiloh Sophia McCloud © 2008

* o

Candlemas Blessings

Chalice Prayer

Prayer of the Chalice

Father, to thee I raise my whole being
a vessel emptied of self. Accept
Lord, this my emptiness, and so fill
me with Thyself - Thy light, Thy
love, They life - that these Thy
precious gifts may radiate
through me and overflow the
chalice of my heart into the
hearts of all with whom I
come in contact this day
revealing unto them
the beauty of
Thy joy
and
wholeness
and
the
serenity
of Thy peace
which nothing can destroy

Source: Diocese of Florida website

image: Chalice Prayer, mixed-media collage, Jan 2008

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Chalice Prayer

Mid-Winter Blahs

This week’s blog topic at Artella is heroes . Specifically, who is your hero and why. This morning I was thinking that right now, my hero is anyone who can work a full day’s work, come home and find time to create some art, or write some poetry, or exercise, or stretch their body. The mid-winter blahs have officially hit me, like they do every winter, and I have zip energy left for anything at the end of the day. See, my body is somehow primitively wired back to those ancient days of hibernation. Days without artificial light, TV, computers or other stimulus to keep you going long after the sun has gone down. Days when the darkness came, you hunkered down in your cave or cabin or whatever, threw another log on the fire and rested. You slept, you dreamt of warmer days, and you waited for the light to return. You worked when it was daylight, and you rested when it was dark. You only moved in the darkness to keep the fire going. That’s where my body is at. Instead, my body lives in modern times. Times when everyone’s mantra seems to be “how can I do more?” I get up in darkness, go to work and spend the day under artificial lighting, go home in darkness and try to accomplish more things in a day then can be accomplished. Sooner or later, the body wins. It must have its rest. “Resistance is futile” it says, in its best Star Trek Borg voice. So forgive, if I post not much these days, or create much, or have the energy to respond to an email. My body is craving primordial hibernation and it’s starting to win the battle. And so I ask, is it not more “heroic” to listen to the body’s needs, rest when it is craving it, and return to fight the creative battle another day? Wishing you sweet winter dreams and time to hibernate, however that looks for you. Spring will return eventually. * o

Mid-Winter Blahs

Winter Wonderland

Last week, winter arrived with a "wall of snow" - yup, that's how they described it in the winter storm warning on the Environment Canada website. Winter storm watch in effect, a wall of snow moving in across Lake Superior. Wall of snow! Sounds terrifying doesn't it? I mean I was picturing this huge, white wall rushing down the Trans-Canada highway pushing away every thing in its path.

Of course, it didn't come as a wall but a heck of a lot of snow fell in a couple of days and we went from no winter to total winter overnight. It's officially here.

So is December, so is Advent. I don't know if it's because my kitchen is still not yet complete and I'm counting the days down until it is, but I seem to be acutely aware of how rapidly Christmas is coming. There are still presents to be wrapped and mailed, don't even ask me about the Christmas cards yet, and forget decorating. We can't put the tree up until the fridge is out of the livingroom anyway :)

This morning on the way to work I had one of those moments when time froze for just a second. The sun was coming up over the mountains, a beautiful orange glow spreading across the sky, the pine trees wore dresses of white, and the sky was that clear, light winter blue it is this time of year. It was awesome and I breathed it in, grateful that I live in such a beautiful country. Thankful that I'm warm and well fed and that I have a kitchen (even if it is in a mess) when so many don't * o

Winter Wonderland

Best Christmas Countdown

Sara, at Going Jesus has the best way to countdown the days until Christmas - the Cavalcade of Bad Nativities!

Check out It Came Upon a Midnight Weird - it's more fun than chocolate and better for you too!

Of course it's early yet, but my favorite so far is the Leprechaun nativity. * o

Best Christmas Countdown

Embracing Soul

"When you listen with your soul, you come into rhythm and unity with the music of the universe."
- John O'Donohue


"Embracing Soul" - art journal collage, Nov 2007

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Embracing Soul

Speak Gently in Silence

Dear God,
Speak gently in my silence.
When the loud outer noises of my surroundings
and the loud inner noises of my fears
keep pulling me away from you,
help me to trust that you are still there
even when I am unable to hear you.
Give me ears to listen to your small, soft voice saying:
"Come to me, you who are overburdened,
and I will give you rest....
for I am gentle and humble of heart."
Let that loving voice be my guide.
Amen.
- Henri Nouwen, With Open Hands * o

Speak Gently in Silence

Imagine a Woman - Journal Entry

This is the page I did in my journal for Zura's "Imagine a Woman" weekly journal prompt.

Imagine freeing yourself of the stories you carry around with you that do not belong to you, but are someone else's baggage. Imagine owning what is yours and letting go of the rest.

Knowing our stories helps us to understand ourselves. Knowing another person's story helps us to understand them. * o

Imagine a Woman - Journal Entry

My Gots a New Floor

When my youngest son was very little, he used to refer to himself as "my". As in, "my want", "my like", "my said"....etc. Very cute :)
So, in that spirit, I'm very excited to report that "my got a new floor". In my bedroom. No more old linoleum, with metal strips holding it together, that looked so ugly and never looked clean. and that I've managed to live with for that last 20 years.

My new floor is beautiful, and clean and makes my bedroom feel so much more restful. With many thanks to my hubby for putting it in. * o

My Gots a New Floor

Imagine a Woman

My friend and awesome art journaler Zura is doing a weekly series of prompts based on the book "Imagine a Woman in Love with Herself" by Patricia Lynn Reilly.

You can read the first of the prompts here.

This is a great way to do some journaling, maybe a collage, maybe your own poem - based on the week's prompts. Zura will be posting each Sunday, so be sure to keep checking. And if you do end up doing some journaling around it, be sure and let Zura know! * o

Imagine a Woman

A Psalm of Signs

Frustrated, I plunked myself
down on the couch
and cried out,
"Lord, I asked for a sign.
For you to show me something
on my walk,
something that would assure me
you were there and you cared.
And what do I get?
Nothing. Where were you, Lord?"

And softly the Lord replied,

"My beloved child,
I warmed your face with sunshine,
and sent a soft breeze to caress you.
I dipped my paintbrush in lush paints
of crimson yellow and fire red
and oh so carefully painted each leaf
for you.
With the same paintbrush, I
colored the sky in more shades of
blue than an artist could begin to capture.
I perfumed the air with an earthy, woodsy
scent hinting of decaying leaves and moss.
I scattered a thousand shimmering rays
of sunlight to dance upon the water,
more dazzling than any display in a
jeweler's window.
I sang to you , with the songs of chickadees,
ravens and gulls,
while poplar leaves in golden gowns shimmied
and swayed to the breeze.
I sponge-painted perfectly designed circles
of moss on the boulders and
I whispered words of comfort on the wind.

Signs? My beloved child, I placed them
all around you.
I can not help that you chose to walk
with eyes closed."

@Eveline Maedel - 2007 * o

A Psalm of Signs

Playing with Wax

I managed to get some beeswax a couple of weekends ago, and since then have done a couple of collages. Working with the wax is both easy and difficult at the same time - I think because instead of using a travel iron like most of the directions suggest, I am using my own iron covered in tinfoil and I'm not quite getting the smoothness I need.



The second collage is a bit of tribute to my kitchen - soon to be remodeled after many long years! * o

Playing with Wax

Poetry and Prayer

Christine at Abbey of the Arts shared this poem a couple of weeks ago. It was speaking to me this morning and I wanted to share it again.

Forget Everything
By John Squadra

If someone says, "To be enlightened you must
fast and pray all night,"
Have dinner and go to bed.
If you see a sign, "This way to salvation,"
run the other way.
If someone says, "This book is the truth,
you can buy it from me,"
Take your money and buy grapes and roses.
If someone says, "He's talking tonight,
thousands will be saved."

Go for a walk...listen to the birds
and watch the clouds, and leave
your backpack, your Bible and your Buddha
under a tree and hope
they will be gone when you return.
Where we are going you can't carry anything,
not even your name.
If there is logic in the above,
be afraid, it's a lie.

But if you feel something in your chest
as beautiful as the grass beneath your feet,
be grateful...open your arms
and forget everything
you ever thought you knew.

Source: This Ecstasy

(image: altoid tin shrine I made this summer) * o

Poetry and Prayer

OK, Maybe a Tad Irreverant?

Most people beginning a time of discernment, would probably mark the occasion with a new bible, or maybe a prayer book or rosary. But not this chick. I got me a Bobblehead Jesus!

Why, you ask? (if you're still reading). Because, I have a wacked sense of humour and also because sometimes I just take myself a little bit too seriously. Ole' BJ here is reminder to lighten up.

When I'm getting all in pious, serious "oh look at me" mode, I just have to ask myself, "WWBJD?" (or What Would Bobblehead Jesus Do?) Just one nod from that head and I'll be smiling again.

To everything a season. There's a time to be serious, and a time to lighten up. * o

OK, Maybe a Tad Irreverant?

Discernment

Today marks the beginning of a year long period of discernment for me. A time to pray, listen and try to decide if I am called to be an Associate of the Sisters of St. John the Divine.

It'll be a time for me to develop and follow a Rule of Life, and to deepen my prayer life.

A year can seem like a long time but I am glad that it is a year. Too often I make impulsive decisions, or I think I want to do something that turns out later to not be so great. We all do.

Discernment gives me an opportunity to slow down, to not rush in and to really try and listen for God's voice. My greatest struggle will be the daily commitment to prayer and to making time for it. In a year, I will know whether or not I am capable of that type of commitment. I will also, hopefully, have learned the value in slowing down and not making hasty decisions.

When have there been periods of discernment in your life? What was the jewel or lesson you learned from that time of discernment?

(image - my window altar at Stonesthrow) * o

Discernment

Dreaming of Beeswax

I've got the creative itch to do a collage in beeswax - a technique I haven't tried yet. I've got the idea, know what I want to put on it and am antsy to try it. So what's stopping me? Lack of beeswax. See, in my small town you can't just run to the local craft store and buy whatever. Now there are plenty of people here who will tell you to "mind your own beeswax" and several more who can't resist the urge to stick their nose in to your beeswax, but actual, authentic beeswax is not to be found. And so I will have to hold off until I can make the next trip to the Big City to stock up on supplies..(sigh). Until then, I'm dreaming of beeswax. * o

Dreaming of Beeswax

Spirituality vs Religion

One of the questions in my course this week was "Is spirituality different from religion and if so how?"

My answer is yes. To me religion is more like a practice, or set of practices. It has specific rules, rituals and it's own hierarchy. Spirituality on the other hand is more of a relationship.

To put it another way, spirituality is like breathing. Religion might define how, when and where I breathe but it is spirituality that is the breath.

How do you define spirituality and religion? Are they one and the same for you?

(image - my first Zentangle - created Sep 19/07) * o

Spirituality vs Religion

Frost and Pumpkin Barf

Saturday morning we were hit with the first heavy frost of fall. A frost that finished off the marigolds in front of the cottage, and the Himalayan Impatiens in the yard. Hubby spent the afternoon pulling them up and tidying the yard. The first of the preparations for winter. Already. Sigh, I'm so not ready for it.

The painting project continued into this weekend. Teenage Boy wanted his room painted orange, and orange he got. It looks like a pumpkin threw up in there but he says he likes it. He better - I'm not painting it again for a long time. I have bedroom number two to paint next, but that will have to wait a couple of weekends. I need a break.

Creatively I've become hooked on doodling, specifically the Zentangle type of doodling. I've fallen in love with my Uniball fine black pen and I use it to scratch doodles over all my journal pages. Even my calendar at work. I'm insane.

My course on Spirituality and Family relationships starts this week. I'm looking forward to a morning routine of reading and journaling as I work my way through it.

Autumn is always so full, and I said I was going to release something didn't I?

* o

Frost and Pumpkin Barf