Grace Full

"How can I be
full of grace?"
I asked you.

You sent me a dream
in answer.

I saw a boat gliding
on a clear lagoon.

A dozen swans
floated by
six white
and six a glossy blue-black.

I watched them
float past, longing
to follow,
and woke with
aching heart
hungering to be
graceful as the swans.

"Am I the poet then,
the muse, or
the swan?"
I asked you.

I thought I caught
your whisper on
the wind.

"You are my beloved"
was the reply. * o

Grace Full

Odds N Sods

There's a new article over at Maedel Creativity Coaching on finding time to write.

I had fun today playing at creating this seal over at Says-it.com. Thanks to InnerDorothy for posting the cool link.

Have you seen "Lessons from Water"? This is a beautiful and relaxing video well worth the five minutes or so to watch. Very calming, if you're having a hectic day!

And finally, had an absolutely fabulous time at the Great Big Sea concert on Friday night. What a fantastic show and a great way to wind up our summer of music festivals! * o

Odds N Sods

collage photo

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collage photo

Soundtrack for Fall

I'm sitting here at the kitchen table, this September afternoon, eating a fresh tomato sandwich, and pondering about how there is music for certain occasions, music for certain emotions, and music that is certainly seasonal.

Sure, when you think seasonal you automatically think Easter songs and Christmas hymns, but when the summer nights grow colder and the days shorter, my fingers wander over the CD's in the rack and automatically rest on Sara McLachlan's, Surfacing, the soundtrack to Practical Magic, and Loreena McKennit's, Book of Secrets. These are CD's that for some strange reason are my anthem for fall. They've rarely been played any other time of year.

I don't know what exactly the pull is, but I know they are entwined with certain memories of fall past. Hearing these songs will forever take me back to sunlight October afternoons, memories of special friends, and even a September trip to Michigan. They make me see colors of oranges, reds, and that special "mossy oak" camo that makes its appearance throughout the house this time of year.

Peer in my window, and you'll catch me puttering around the house cleaning, or working on some project, while I sway and sing my heart out.

In the meditative atmosphere created by routine chores, some songs are offered up as lyrical prayer, a conversation between me and God.

"if all of the strength
and all of the courage
come and lift me from this place
I know I could love you much better than this
full of grace" - (Sara McLachlan, Full of Grace)

Some songs are just fun to sing.

"...put de lime in de coconut, and drink 'em both up..." - (Harry Nilsson, Coconut)

And some just have pieces of lyric that have caught me, and stuck in my head, renderings of perfect turns of phrases.

"...she's as shady as cheap sunglasses, and as perfect as this October Monday passes..." - (Michelle Lewis, Nowhere and Everywhere)

They are my soundtrack for fall, my celebration of this time of year, and my preparation for the winter to come.

And, just maybe, they are an attempt to infuse some estrogen into this testosterone-filled household I'm a part of... * o

Soundtrack for Fall

Autograph

Several, long years ago in a small northern Ontario town an aspiring writer held a book signing at the local Hudson's Bay store. The book, his first, a compilation of humorous stories. A timid teenager approached the table, held out her copy of the book and shyly requested an "autograph". After clarifying the spelling of her name, the author wrote "Happy Reading" in bold, black pen. The teenager, after having just met her first real writer and getting her first autographed copy of a book, went home and devoured the stories. The book became part of a treasured collection of books, carted from home to home, bookshelf to bookshelf.

Fast forward many years. The author has since gone on to publish 11, hosted a national radio show and has been the host of Life Networks "Weird Homes". Somewhat of a national celeb. The shy teenager went off to college, got married, has two fine teenage sons of her own, has worked in several clerical type jobs and is a late blooming writer with a leaning to poetry. Somewhat not a celeb at all.

Their paths crossed again at the Sleeping Giant Writers Festival at the end of August. I attended Arthur Black's reading Friday night, with my 1982 copy of "Basic Black" tucked in my bag. After the reading, I loitered near the back working up the nerve to ask for another autograph. Finally, I stepped in front of Mr. Black's path as he was making his way to the back tables, blurted out "I have a special request", rambled the rest of my story about having met him years ago, and then asked if he would again autograph my copy. He was delighted.

And that was one of the highlights of my weekend at the SG Writer's Fest. I say goodnight to my oldest son, sprawled out on his bed reading his personally autographed copy of Arthur Black's latest book. Some people chase rock stars, or Tom Cruise. I would rather have an autographed copy of a good book anyday. * o

Autograph

Letters from Lola

A very special person has left us this weekend.

Letters from Lola were always accompanied by hand drawn bird sketch. I looked forward to opening the envelope to see if it would be a cardinal, or chickadee or jay. Her notes always seemed to arrive at just the right time.

Lola practiced an art form we are slowly losing - that of the handwritten letter. No emails or MSN for her.

I treasure each little bird sketch I have received over the years and will very much miss those little notes in my mailbox. * o

Letters from Lola

Folkin' It

We sit on the shore of the lake, watching the sky turn from shades of blue, to purple and pink and slowly to black. Stars appear, and a fat luminiscent moon rises above the bandshell. A shooting star arcs across the sky. No stage or lighting director could have planned it better than Mother Nature herself. I stay as long as I can hold out but eventually the dampness and cold seep into my bones and I have to give up and head home.

We're enjoying the weekend at Live From the Rock. Besides the great music, I love browsing the craft booths. I want to see what people are creating and selling, admiring their talents and handicrafts all the while lulled by the amazing music all around me. This year's great find is Rock's Rose Poetic Photography.

The plans for tonight include several large, warm blankets and heavy jackets. Ya, it's mid-August but it's mid-August in Northern Ontario and the evening temps have taken a cool turn. Dancing in your chair only keeps you warm for so long! * o

Folkin' It

Missing Them

Since being on vacation and with a house full of company I have gotten out of my usual morning routine. I haven't written my morning pages in weeks and I'm missing them.

I feel like large chunks of my life have gone by without being noted. I'm also feeling lazy and a wee bit afraid that I'll never get back into that routine again.

I can imagine myself years from now, looking through my journals and coming to this large chunk of lost time, nodding my head knowingly while saying, "uh-huh, thats when she had one little vacation and just let the whole routine slide - never did get back into it - what a shame."

Of course I know that is ridiculous, some sort of freakish creative anxiety gnawing at me. After all, it's not like my journals haven't had large chunks of missing time in them before (like years...). Besides, summer here is short, fall is around the corner and I know I'll be settling into routine again soon.

And, the very fact that I'm missing the morning pages is a good sign. I'm looking forwarding to diving into them again real soon. * o

Missing Them

Opportunity for Free Coaching

I received the following from Eric Maisel, a leading Creativity Coach and the teacher for the "Introduction to Creativity Coaching" that I'll be taking starting next week.

Eric writes:

Since the group is largely formed now, I have a sense of how many free clients we will be able to accommodate. It looks like we will have room for perhaps up to twenty more free clients. Please consider whether you would like to be a free client in the next training and, if you decide that being a free client serves you at this time, please get me the information I require as soon as possible. That information is one paragraph about you and one paragraph about what you would like to work on with a creativity coach.

To refresh your memory: free clients work with coaches-in-training via email for the sixteen weeks of the training. This is a golden opportunity for you! Thousands of artists have availed themselves of this opportunity over the past five years. (By the way, if you were a free client before, there is no restriction against being one again.) Some have had an excellent experience and some have had a less than stellar experience—that’s to be expected. But the price is certainly right! So please give this some thought.


So if you'd like to experience some creativity coaching that's easy on your budget, and help out some trainees like myself send Eric an email at ericmaisel@hotmail.com! * o

Opportunity for Free Coaching

There's Still Time...

..to get in on a great online course on art journaling.

Zura's Fun Art Journaling - Zura will be starting another session soon. I've just completed the art journaling course and I found it to be an awesome source of inspiration and information. I knew nothing about art journaling before starting. Zura packs in the information, and also provides weekly journaling jems that really get those creative juices going. I dare you to take it and not find something that appeals to you!

This is one online workshop that is well worth the money. * o

There's Still Time...

Home again, home again

My weeks worth of vacation has all too quickly passed!

It's great getting away, visiting family, relaxing and stepping out of your routine for awhile but there is nothing at the end of the journey that beats slipping into the cool, clean sheets of your own bed - ahhhhh....

Despite having made up a few background pages ahead of time, I only managed to journal one page while away.

Driving along the lakeshore home I thought that one should make this journey at least once a year to remember why we choose to live in this neck of the woods. It is so breathtakingly beautiful. I know that I definitely felt its pull on my heart the moment we crossed the border and were once again on home "ground".

There's definitely "no place like home"! * o

Home again, home again

Cool Glue Background

This is a neat technique that was passed along in the art journaling group I'm in.

On a piece of plastic coated freezer paper paint whatever design you want. You can mix colors, rubber stamp designs, finger paint. In this background I painted two colors and then cut out the shell from a napkin and pressed it into the paint. Let the paint dry completely, then cover it all with a thick layer of Elmer's glue. The instructions said to water down the glue, but I found the first time I tried that I didn't have a thick enough layer so for this background I just put it on full strength.

Leave it to dry. I left this one for a day. Then peel the glue off the freezer paper - carefully!!! (requires patience...) The paint will come up with the glue. The whole thing has a kind of rubbery texture. You can then glue it down onto your journal paper and voila - you have your background. I covered this one with a watered down layer of gesso, just enough to give it a little more durability for writing on.

The one good thing about working on a bunch of backgrounds is that if you don't feel like writing, or don't exactly know what you want to do with the page, you can still make the background and feel that creative energy. * o

Cool Glue Background

Is it hot in here? and some announcements

"I'm melting! I'm melting........"

Much as I love summer, I don't do heatwaves very well. Spent most of the day hiding inside today since it was well over 100F on our back deck. Stuck my body out for about five minutes and quickly retreated back inside again. Not that it's all that much cooler in here but it is slightly bearable.

I did up some background pages in my art journal this evening. I wanted to get a few done ahead of time so I could take my journal on vacation with me and I'd have ready made pages if the urge to write something strikes me. I plan on throwing my favorite pens, gluestick, scissors and some watercolor pencils into a zippered bag so I'll have a few supplies with me when the muse prods. I'll post some pics when I return.

And now we interrupt this blog, for a few announcements.....

Announcement #1 - I have a new website!!
I've started a new website for my creativity workshops and eventually for the creative coaching I hope to get into. Check out Maedel Creativity Coaching for information on workshops, and occasional articles on creativity. Like myself, it is still a work in progress - so keep checking it for updates.

Announcement #2 - Get a free book!
Suzanne Falter-Barns has recently released her "How Much Joy Can You Stand?" book as a free e-book. This is the book the "How Much Joy" workshops are based on, helping you live your dreams. Click on the banner ad for more info and be sure to pick up your free copy of the book while it is available!






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Is it hot in here? and some announcements

Baby Got Da Blues

We spent yesterday afternoon in the city at the Blues Festival, a birthday combined with anniversary gift that the whole family enjoyed.

I thought David Knopfler was awesome, but our overall favorite of the performances we saw was "Lil Ed and the Blues Imperials". Lil' Ed rocks and really got the crowd up on their feet when he jumped off the stage and started jamming up and down the rows.

A lady sitting next to me asked how old my boys were, and after telling her she commented on how wonderful it was that they would come with us and how nice to see them having such a good time. And I thought, ya they are pretty fabulous kids and we are lucky to have things we enjoy doing together. The stuff memories are made of.

Unfortunately, I underestimated the power of the sun through the intermittent clouds that blew over marina park and I ended up with a wicked sunburn and now am itching and aching through my own kind of blues... * o

Baby Got Da Blues

Esmeralda Monkeyface

I've been wanting to make one of these puppets since reading about them at Lani Puppetmaker, the website for artist Lani Gerity. The instructions seemed easy enough and it looked like a fun project.

And so I created my "puppet muse", Esmeralda Monkeyface. I was surprised to find that the hardest part of the project was making her body, although why that surprised me when my sewing skills are less than legendary I don't know.

Esmeralda is teaching me about expectations - since she didn't turn out exactly as I "expected" her to. How often do we begin a creative project with some sort of expectation of the outcome, and become frustrated during the process when things don't seem to go as we envisioned them? Do we carry on and see where the creative muse leads us? Or do we give up and tell ourselves "I can't do this" or "I'm not good enough"? What happens when I let go of the outcome?

Esmeralda is also teaching me about "acceptance". Her body is not perfect - her hands are too big, her arms too skinny and she's lumpy in places - but then neither is my body perfect. Esmeralda just tosses back her multi-colored yarn hair and laughs. She knows she's vibrant and creative and fun, who needs a perfect body? (Even if the boys did think she had a monkey face and it freaked them out).

The heart on her dress bears the word "courage". She is not afraid to create or take chances. A friend shared this motto with me, "faith + action = courage". Esmeralda Monkeyface is courage in action.

(On an amusing side note, when I created her my dear family wanted to know if they were not being supportive enough lately that I needed to create a puppet to talk to!) * o

Esmeralda Monkeyface

Unexpected Surprise

Good friends, K and R, made this table for me and surprised me with it last night as an early birthday gift.

The top is made of broken pieces of granite countertop inlaid into cement (it is very heavy!).

Sturdy and functional, a beautiful gift of creativity. * o

Unexpected Surprise

Fog - Jessie Lake

The guys were fishing Friday morning and got fogged in a pea soup thick fog for about an hour. * o

Fog - Jessie Lake

O, Canada

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CANADA!!!!!

Woke up this morning to thunderstorms and pouring rain, so I'm not sure if our fireworks celebration will be a little damp this evening...

In the meantime, it was a good morning to lay in bed and listen to the rain. A good morning to putter around the house, to work on some creative projects, to dream, and maybe to read.

Happy long weekend! * o

O, Canada

Lessons Learned.........the saga of Heliographica

Almost a year ago, five women writers and myself were in the throes of elation celebrating our upcoming release of "Pink Jasper - Gems from the Journey", published through Heliographica. The book represented a collaborative birthing of the writings of six women who had never personally met, but through this project have formed lasting friendships.

Today, I received the following email from "Team Heliographica":

Heliographica will be cancelling it's operations.

As a traditional title- your rights revert back to you.

If your title made it through production and is in print through Ingram it will remain in print
until late August and in December after we have received royalties from wholesalers payment will be made to you using the address we have on file.

Note: You will be able to place bulk orders for books through July 31st, but effective immediately our website will no longer take sales.

We regret to be sending you this notice and wish you the best of luck with your writing.

Team Heliographica

I have to say that this really didn't come as much of a surprise. There have been problems all along since the publishing of Pink Jasper. Difficulties getting orders, lack of communication and bumps and disappointments all along the way. We fared much better than some authors though, whose sagas can be read here .

As I think all this over today, I know that this book has been a wonderful journey for me. I met some great women who I laughed and cried with, I cut my teeth on the craft of writing, I learned volumes about the publishing industry, and I have a book on my bookshelf that has my name on the cover. Pink Jasper has opened doors for me, and I know that even as one door closes another will open someplace else.

I don't know the future of our little book. I do know that those who have read it, loved it and I hope that it has blessed them in some way.

This morning I relayed the information to my oldest son that the publisher had gone under and I couldn't get anymore books, and then I jokingly commented "so, no Oprah." He buttered his toast, shrugged, and replied "So, you're only 40 something." I looked at "Mr. Wiser-Than-Years", smiled and said "You're right - try again!".

Never let your dreams die.

(PS - I still have a few copies of Pink Jasper kicking around if you are interested in buying it. Could be a collector's item!! ) * o

Lessons Learned.........the saga of Heliographica

From the Past

While cleaning out some stuff, I came across an old notebook with the following entry written in May of 1994:

I'm sitting here on a cloudy Sunday morning, dishes piled in the sink, kids watching TV, floor in desperate need of vacuuming, Charlie tugging at me. I should be getting ready for church. Instead I'm scribbling away in this notebook, asking myself why do I want to write? I come from a family tradition of writing. My mother writes poetry from time to time. Both of us enjoy buying journals and notebooks with their crisp clean paper, anticipating filling them with wonderous thoughts and then piling them up, forlorn and forgotten on dusty shelves because our lives are just too distracting to write. My favorite time in school was always the beginning. Not just for the starting over, but for the thrill of new notebooks. I loved the first page, eagerly anticipating the first notes to be jotted down, always neatly with appropriate headings underlined. September held the promise of new beginnings, it was fresh. Of course, by October this freshness would wear off. By now the notebooks were familiar, the promises a little jaded and school was always the same. I'm still a stationary "junkie" in September. I've even bought notebooks and scrapbooks under the pretense of doing something for the kids but it was really just to relive that thrill of crisp, clean pages. Notebooks can also lead to writer's block, because I have always had that feeling that the first page should be perfect and with a clear purpose. But life is not the crisp new page in a notebook.

So here I am, twelve years later. I still love new notebooks, but I have conquered the expectation of a perfect first page. I've learned that writing is the continual action of putting pen to paper, or connecting fingers to keyboard. And I still buy scrapbooks and notebooks, but I happily own up that they are for me - no hiding behind the kids - and I'm quite content to get messy in them! * o

From the Past